Tag Archives: harmony

The best question I’m asking myself these days

July 18, 2016 Diane Rivers 3 Comments

I woke up in pain. My right hand felt like a water balloon that was about to burst. “Must be a new iteration of carpal tunnel syndrome,” I thought as I tried every possible position to get the throbbing to stop. Finally, I lifted my hand in the semi-darkness to look at it and instantly saw the problem.

I had one of those coated ponytail elastics on my wrist where I had placed it the night before after picking it up off the kitchen floor. I meant to put it away, but forgot and slept with what turned out to be an actual tourniquet on my wrist. I yanked it off and immediately began to feel relief. Then I wondered how much permanent damage I might have done to my hand (because if you know me, you know I tend to go to the worst case scenario in my mind.)

Obviously, I didn’t intend to put a darn tourniquet on my wrist and then leave it on while I slept. But who thinks of those little ponytail thingies as potentially dangerous? They seem so harmless . . .

I think I sometimes do that with my thinking.

What starts out as a practical framework for my ideas turns into a flawed and possibly dangerous assumption. Instead of wisdom or insight, I default to an interpretation that constricts and risks damage to my relationships, to my attitude, even to my own personal peace.

Here’s an example: A couple of weeks ago, I was walking in my neighborhood at dusk and three people rode by on bicycles — a 50-ish man in the lead followed by a woman around his age and then a younger woman. Probably a family, I thought. As they rode by, the man was holding forth on how much to inflate their tires for maximum comfort and how to regulate their speed to conserve energy. The two women looked miserable.

My first thought was, “What a know-it-all gas bag. Why can’t they just go for a leisurely ride? Why does he have to preach them a sermon on how it’s done?” I felt myself getting ramped up.

Continue reading The best question I’m asking myself these days →

Christian Life, Community, General, Uncategorized

Gosh, people are a mess

May 12, 2016 Diane Rivers 6 Comments

Do you ever feel that way? I find myself saying, “What is WRONG with people?” when I’m frustrated for any of a variety of reasons.

Did they really think cutting me off in traffic would gain them an advantage of more than one car length?
Can they seriously not hear how they just interrupted to turn the conversation back to themselves . . . again?
Don’t they get it that the promises of that politician are empty?

As if I’ve got it together and they don’t.

My husband’s uncle is a great lover of jigsaw puzzles — the 1,000 piece, really challenging ones that, as we used to say in the South, “could make a preacher cuss”. He can spend hours focused on one of these things, not giving up until he finishes it, which by the way, he always does. And then he starts another. He’s amazing.

There’s something about interacting with and understanding people, especially those I care about (and even those I don’t), that reminds me of those puzzles. Continue reading Gosh, people are a mess →

Christian Life, Faith, General, Uncategorized

The simple song lyric that undid me

April 6, 2016 Diane Rivers 3 Comments

A friend of mine is fond of muttering, “Hell in a handbasket, my dear. Hell in a handbasket.” This is usually in response to:

yet another crass reality TV show in the lineup,
an encounter with a rude or texting driver,
sloppy workmanship in an already overpriced product,

. . . or any of a number of other “proofs” that society is unraveling at a meteoric rate.

It’s become so common, we’ve adopted a kind of shorthand between us. My friend now just looks at me and says, “Handbasket!” Enough said.

It’s easy to default to negative thinking these days, though, isn’t it? You look around at the alarming lack of civility among so-called leaders; the deep divides along racial, religious, and socioeconomic lines; the creeping fear of violence and danger at every turn . . . and you can start to despair.

If you’re like me, sometimes you’re tempted to turn off the news, gather your loved ones, and just hide, if only that would help.

“Handbasket!” Right?

But this past Sunday, a single line in a song at church opened my eyes to a really important truth. We were singing “Strong God”* (listen to it here) and there’s a line that says, “This is God in His holy place.”
Just that one lyric was all it took to pierce my heart and change my perspective.

Continue reading The simple song lyric that undid me →

Christian Life, Friendship, General, Uncategorized

You can try all you want but you will fail at this

October 28, 2015 Diane Rivers 5 Comments

This was so long ago, it almost seems like it happened to someone else. But no, I was there.

Some friends and I were invited to a coworker’s 4th of July picnic, where we were surrounded by several members of her extended family who could barely stand each other.

Her brother was there with his common law wife, there was another brother who had just been released from prison, and the oldest brother, who didn’t approve of either one and made no secret of it. The dad, a self-important control freak, was going to see to it that things were done a certain way (his way) and on his very precise schedule, while the rest of the family and friends held their breath for the blowup.

Oh, and it was about 100 degrees and humid.

People were just starting to relax and cool off in the shade. To everyone’s relief, it seemed a bit of a “cease fire” had taken hold. That’s when BD (Blowhard Dad) decided it was time to fire up the grill. He completely ignored his wife’s suggestion that, Everyone is comfortable right now, dear. Maybe we could wait awhile to eat?

No. He overcooked all the hamburgers, charred the hot dogs, and then announced to everyone that the food was ready, come get it.

When Elder Son (who did not approve of his father, either) announced to BD that no one wanted a burger; no one was hungry yet, BD blew up. “You’ll all eat now and enjoy it.” The air was instantly sucked right out of that backyard.

Yep, he got everyone to eat, but for all his bluster and bullying, BD could not make anyone enjoy that meal and it infuriated him.

All these years later, I remember thinking to myself, “I don’t care who you are, you can’t legislate my good time.”

And that got me thinking. You know what else you can’t do? Continue reading You can try all you want but you will fail at this →

Christian Life, Community, General

I Don’t Remember Saying This

November 12, 2014 Diane Rivers 8 Comments

As I rounded the corner last week, I happened upon my neighbor unloading groceries in her driveway. We engaged in some idle chat and for whatever reason, she reminded me of something I had said to her when she was diagnosed with cancer ten or so years ago.

The day I heard of her health struggles, I stopped by to deliver a meal to her family on my way home from work. She specifically recalls me reassuring her during that visit that, “Everything will be okay.”

I said that? What in the world was I thinking? That was kind of a happy-clappy thing to say. Looking back, it seems downright presumptuous.

Thankfully, my friend derived comfort from my words then and apparently still values them today.

And I don’t even remember saying it.

By God’s mercy, everything did turn out okay. There was surgery, chemo, and all the miserable stuff that goes along with it, but she eventually went into remission and continues to live her life with contagious joy.

I started thinking: That forgotten comment at least had a happy ending. How many other things have I said along the way that didn’t have such a positive result?

~~~~~~~~~

I thought of another instance, a few years earlier, when my words had a much less desirable outcome. In this case, I remember what I said, it’s just that at the time I failed to consider how it would be taken in by a very tender heart. Continue reading I Don’t Remember Saying This →

Christian Life, Community, Faith, Uncategorized

A Gift Within A Gift

June 1, 2014 Diane Rivers 4 Comments

For much of my Christian life, I believed I needed to “pray the answers”. My prayers, I thought, should include suggestions for God, ways He could answer my requests. I’d begin with, “If it could be your will, God, would you please ___________,” and then I’d fill in the blank with ideas for how God might respond.

I don’t think I fell into that pattern because I really thought God needed my input; I think it was a way of giving myself a kind of metric so I could know my prayers had been answered.

If things resolved the way I had prayed they would, then God had met my expectations and I was assured once more that yes, God answers prayer.

Some things were pretty clear as to what the ideal outcome would be: Continue reading A Gift Within A Gift →

One Word 365, Uncategorized

If Harmony Could Choose Its Own Team

May 18, 2014 Diane Rivers 4 Comments

Last year I spent a fair amount of time focusing on the concept of harmony. It was my “One Word” for the year, taking the place of a litany of resolutions (which I can never keep) and focusing my attention in a singular direction that would be especially helpful to me personally.

Funny how these things work. 2013 is well past but I find I still focus on harmony and I continue to put into practice many of the things I discovered last year. I do believe that was the point of the whole exercise!

Just yesterday I came across yet another excellent way to think about harmony. Continue reading If Harmony Could Choose Its Own Team →

Christian Life, Uncategorized

Thinking Differently About Roots

March 16, 2014 Diane Rivers 2 Comments

I was honored to guest-post on ryanhuguley.com this week. Please head over there to read “Thinking Differently About Roots” in its entirety.

I am part of that group known as “GRITS” – girls raised in the south. I was born in Florida and spent my most formative years there. Well before the various ancestry databases were put on the internet (before there was even an internet), both my parents could trace their histories back multiple generations, even as far as the Revolutionary War.

My southern roots run deep; I was well into adulthood before my career prompted me to move away.

I’m more than one of the GRITS, though.

Where my “people” are from is just one of countless labels that could be used to describe me. I’m sure that’s true of you, too. We all anchor our identities in things like where we’re from, our career choices, sports allegiances, religious affiliations, and political parties, to name just a few. These descriptors become part of our personal narrative that helps us (and others) understand who we are. It’s pleasant to discover shared interests – or establish the basis for some good-natured ribbing – in order to enjoy common ground with other people.

But I wonder if there is a different way to think about our roots?

To read the rest of this post, please click here.

(If you’d to receive an email when I publish new posts, please go to my home page here and subscribe. I’d be honored.)

Christian Life, Faith, Uncategorized

Breathing Jesus

February 5, 2014 Diane Rivers 8 Comments

I have several, shall we say, complicated relationships in my life. The identities and details aren’t important here but my struggle to resolve friction and find peace with them, is.

Relational meltdowns leave me reeling. As weird as it may sound, I experience what I imagine suffocation would feel like: desperation turning to panic, then helplessness, hopelessness, and finally, defeat. I know, how dramatic. But perhaps you can relate on some level. Continue reading Breathing Jesus →

Community, Uncategorized

Are you at least willing to consider this possibility?

November 24, 2013 Diane Rivers 8 Comments

I had a partner in the FBI who was a brilliant agent. Jack* had the ability to survey a complex set of facts and glean exactly what was necessary to make a prosecutable case. He could focus on what mattered and not get distracted by all the rest.

That alone would have been enough to win the admiration of his peers. But the other thing was, Jack was unfailingly respectful to everyone, even those suspected of egregious crimes.

One day we showed up unannounced (not uncommon in the FBI) to talk to a guy who really did not want to answer our questions (also not uncommon in the FBI). The man we were interviewing resorted to insulting us to try and make us angry so we would leave. He called us every vulgar name in the book and cast aspersions on the moral character of every one of our ancestors. That’s putting it nicely.

Jack, in his inimitable style, looked him in the eye and with a smile said, Continue reading Are you at least willing to consider this possibility? →

Diane Rivers

Tag Archives: harmony

The best question I’m asking myself these days

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Gosh, people are a mess

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The simple song lyric that undid me

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You can try all you want but you will fail at this

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I Don’t Remember Saying This

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A Gift Within A Gift

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If Harmony Could Choose Its Own Team

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Thinking Differently About Roots

I was honored to guest-post on ryanhuguley.com this week. Please head over there to read “Thinking Differently About Roots” in its entirety.

To read the rest of this post, please click here.

(If you’d to receive an email when I publish new posts, please go to my home page here and subscribe. I’d be honored.)

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Breathing Jesus

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Are you at least willing to consider this possibility?

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Finding Joy in a Workaround Life

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I was honored to guest-post on ryanhuguley.com this week. Please head over there to read “Thinking Differently About Roots” in its entirety.

To read the rest of this post, please click here.

(If you’d to receive an email when I publish new posts, please go to my home page here and subscribe. I’d be honored.)

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Finding Joy in a Workaround Life