Category Archives: Uncategorized

Because a gift can become a weapon

Have you ever heard the adage, “The one who keeps the minutes determines the outcome of the meeting?” When I take the notes for a meeting, recount an event, or write a report of an interview, I always introduce my own bias into the record. It’s inevitable.

Words have limitations.

Even when I strive to be completely objective, the words I choose, the way I organize and frame the content – these necessarily reflect a little of me.

If you’re a “wordsmith” – someone who puts words together well – you have a gift that can be the proverbial two-edged sword. People may come to depend on you to summarize what happened in a given situation and even look to you for an interpretation of that event. Because you are reasonably well-spoken and communicate well, they may seek your personal opinion on other topics as well.

Make no mistake: There’s power and responsibility in that.set a guard over my mouth

On the one hand, when you use your communication gift with integrity, you have the privilege of insuring information is presented accurately and completely. You can tell the full story and tell it in a way that adds to the conversation; you can build up rather than tear down. You can also shine a light of truth on negative things that need to be exposed.

Continue reading Because a gift can become a weapon

When I am at my meanest

Yesterday my to-do list included mailing in my quarterly State and Federal income taxes. I detest writing those checks but I detest putting them in the mailbox even more. Still, I am a rule follower. Whether or not I like how the government spends my tax dollars, I always pay my fair share and I do it on time.

Until I didn’t.

wide eyeImagine my dismay when I pulled out my file and Continue reading When I am at my meanest

How would you finish this sentence?

pin bg girl silhouette Isaiah 43I know I’m not the only one who sometimes imagines how I would respond if I could have a “do over”. I stew about past mistakes and think about what it would be like to have a fresh start. It can be draining.

Sometimes we whine about fairly inconsequential things. For example (and I may or may not have said any of these things, okay?):

“If I had it to do over again, I think I’d have  … Continue reading How would you finish this sentence?

On a scale of “1 to Larry”

I spent what seemed like a year sharing a ride to the office with a very extroverted coworker awhile back.

hide faceUnderstand, even after several cups of coffee, I’m still not – shall we say – “bubbly” first thing in the morning.

As soon as I got in the car with him, he was “on”. Hoping he would take a hint, I remember saying, “Gee, Larry*, you’re kind of a morning person, aren’t you?” His response: Continue reading On a scale of “1 to Larry”

This package is not for you

cavern morgueFile free photo heirbornstudIn the last two weeks, two of my closest family members have faced health crises that have sent me into an emotional tailspin. I’ve defaulted to my specialty – worry – and it has not served me well. Can you relate?

I wake up again and again in the night, my mind a dark labyrinth of thoughts spinning and clashing out of control. Fear lurks like a thick fog over my bed. Each time, I pray: for a positive outcome to whatever medical procedure looms next, for complete healing of mind and body, for confidence and courage. Then I find soft comfort as I drift back to sleep, only to wake again a short time later, my mind in overdrive once more. Continue reading This package is not for you

Please don’t kick the sheepdog

If you know, love – or are – a “sheepdog”, you will appreciate the following perspective, especially in light of recent events in Boston.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I’ve heard this idea attributed to various sources and I’ve seen it adapted several different ways, depending on the audience. But I particularly like this version my brother shared with me some years ago, taken from a book by Lt. Col. (Retired) Dave Grossman, Ranger, Ph.D., Author of On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill. Continue reading Please don’t kick the sheepdog

Four Ways to (Politely) Pummel Harmony

mask morgueFile free photo claritaAs I continue my focus on the word “harmony” in 2013, I’ve been thinking about behaviors that look like harmony-producers but in reality are harmony-busters. They seem innocuous enough, perhaps even helpful. But over time, they can do more harm than good.

Here are a few I’ve observed (and there are many more). Maybe you can add some others: Continue reading Four Ways to (Politely) Pummel Harmony

Have I Written About You?

“Strays in a tray; some thrown away. Rounded down. Unheeded; unneeded.” *

pennies

If you knew that you were the inspiration for something I wrote, would you be flattered – or flustered? Would you be interested to know how I depicted you and why? Or would you want to get the heck out of here NOW? Continue reading Have I Written About You?

If God said this to you, would it be enough?

“You’ll lead a pretty great life and live to be old. Now go do the best you can.”

 

I know people who would be happy with that pronouncement. People who really don’t want too much interference from an all-knowing, all-powerful Deity who might have some different ideas about what constitutes a meaningful life.

With those marching orders, they could define “pretty great” for themselves, and the ambiguity of “old” would suit them just fine. Doing their best could mean pursuing happiness on their own terms, finding their own pleasure. That could work out really well.

Until it doesn’t. Continue reading If God said this to you, would it be enough?

How NOT to Achieve Harmony

I chose to be part of the OneWord365 movement this year – the idea being that instead of making New Year’s resolutions, you select a single word and focus on it for a full year, noting how it influences your life each day. I chose “harmony” as my word for 2013. This is my update on how it’s going.

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Metra trainThe first clue is the muttering and swearing. It’s 6:30 in the morning and the train will be arriving shortly. No one has an extra few minutes; we’re all on autopilot, just trying to get to work as painlessly as possible.

The man ahead of me in line at the parking fee kiosk is now pounding the side of the machine and angrily accusing the Village officials who maintain the parking facility of everything from laziness to greed to criminal corruption.

My offer of a different dollar bill – maybe his was too wrinkled … or not wrinkled enough? – doesn’t even phase him.

“It’s not taking dollar bills. The *^$#@ machine is broken and they don’t care ‘cause if you don’t pay the fee, you’re going to get a ticket for $55 and that’s more money in their pockets. Bunch of bums.” Continue reading How NOT to Achieve Harmony