Tag Archives: friendship

Christian Life, Uncategorized

Thinking Differently About Roots

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I was honored to guest-post on ryanhuguley.com this week. Please head over there to read “Thinking Differently About Roots” in its entirety.

 

RootsI am part of that group known as “GRITS” – girls raised in the south. I was born in Florida and spent my most formative years there. Well before the various ancestry databases were put on the internet (before there was even an internet), both my parents could trace their histories back multiple generations, even as far as the Revolutionary War.

My southern roots run deep; I was well into adulthood before my career prompted me to move away.

I’m more than one of the GRITS, though.

Where my “people” are from is just one of countless labels that could be used to describe me. I’m sure that’s true of you, too. We all anchor our identities in things like where we’re from, our career choices, sports allegiances, religious affiliations, and political parties, to name just a few. These descriptors become part of our personal narrative that helps us (and others) understand who we are. It’s pleasant to discover shared interests – or establish the basis for some good-natured ribbing – in order to enjoy common ground with other people.

But I wonder if there is a different way to think about our roots?

To read the rest of this post, please click here.

(If you’d to receive an email when I publish new posts, please go to my home page here and subscribe. I’d be honored.)

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Christian Life, Friendship, Uncategorized

I hope you have friends like this

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I’m guest-posting at ryanhuguley.com today. Please join me there to read “Seven Marks of Authentic Friendship” in its entirety.

Paulette and I share a unique history that goes back 30 years. Time and distance conspire now to keep us apart but when we connect, even though it necessarily involves airplanes and major schedule adjustments, it’s always worth it.

She and I chose a career in Federal law enforcement at a time when earning the respect of our peers in a male-dominated profession meant embracing an over-the-top work ethic and developing a very “thick hide”. That experience cultivated a unique bond, in and of itself.

We were pregnant together and shared the unique travails reserved for expectant mothers in that kind of job. We raised our children in a world we viewed through a particular lens of danger and did our best to make their lives “normal”.

Early on in our friendship, we discovered we had more than just our careers in common.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

(If you’d like to receive an email when I publish a new post, please go to my home page here and subscribe. I’d be honored.)

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Christian Life, Community, Uncategorized

What Christians of “A Certain Age” Should Never Do

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middle age mosaic-takomabibelotLast May I joined a vibrant, growing church in the Chicago suburbs, one very different from the mega-church I had served in for the prior 25 years.

The pastoral staff at my new church is young (by that I mean, the lead pastor is in his early 30s, and he’s the oldest of the bunch). They are all filled with passion, energy, and Godly wisdom that inspires me every time I interact with them. Theirs is the generation taking the Church into the next grand chapter and it’s crazy exciting to be a part of it.

For people like me, who’ve served in the church for most of our lives, there’s a bit of risk here. Continue reading What Christians of “A Certain Age” Should Never Do →

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Christian Life, Community, Faith, Friendship, Motherhood, Single Parenting, Uncategorized

I’m leading a duct tape life

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duct-tapeWhen the fiberglass floor in my upstairs shower cracked due to faulty installation, it was duct tape that kept the water from leaking through to the ceiling below until I could get the whole tray replaced.

When the vacuum cleaner hose split and rendered the vacuum useless, it was duct tape that restored suction and extended old Eureka’s life.

When I realized, going out the door, that the hem of my pant leg was hanging, it was duct tape that made me presentable until I could get home and stitch it up.

There are entire websites devoted to handy and often unusual uses for duct tape. (A friend of mine has been known to put a strip of it over her own mouth. And that’s all you need to know about that.)

It’s patched more than a few holes in window screens around here, and stopped winter chills from seeping in through window frames and door jambs. I mean, who doesn’t have at least one roll of this stuff in their house, car, garage, or office? You probably have some great duct tape “survival” tales yourself.

Admittedly, it’s not always attractive – though it does come in colors now – but there’s beauty in its simplicity. Besides, it’s inexpensive…and it works.

Ideally, we’d never need duct tape. If things always worked the way they’re supposed to and parts didn’t break, we would never have to discover all the ways duct tape can rescue us. Big “if”.

I think of my life as being held together with a kind of duct tape. Far from being a bad thing, this is actually pretty amazing. I’ll tell you why. Continue reading I’m leading a duct tape life →

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Christian Life, Faith, Prayer, Uncategorized

This Is Why I Pray for You

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There’s so much water under this bridge between God and me. He and I have been in a relationship for a very long time. And this praying? I’ve been doing it for decades. I still can’t fully explain how it works but I can tell you, it does. And it feeds my soul.

contemplativeEntire books – complete with spiral-bound study guides – have been written about prayer so plenty of deep theological scrutiny has already been done. I just want to share a few reasons I personally include you in my prayers: Continue reading This Is Why I Pray for You →

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Christian Life, Friendship

Who is your “Byron”?

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PJS_0235 (crop)Wallace is 90 years old now, moving a little slower than he used to but still sharp as a tack and fully engaged in, as he would say, “doing the Lord’s work”. Yesterday he flew – alone – from Miami to Johnson City, Tennessee. This required that he change planes in Atlanta. In a wheelchair. And deal with TSA.

Understand, this is a true Southern gentleman who, just over 9 months ago, had open heart surgery. A month and a half or so ago, he fought a serious bout with bronchitis that nearly landed him in the hospital.

So you have to wonder: Why in the world would he take on a trip like this?

One reason and one reason only: Continue reading Who is your “Byron”? →

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Christian Life, One Word 365, Uncategorized

Four Ways to (Politely) Pummel Harmony

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mask morgueFile free photo claritaAs I continue my focus on the word “harmony” in 2013, I’ve been thinking about behaviors that look like harmony-producers but in reality are harmony-busters. They seem innocuous enough, perhaps even helpful. But over time, they can do more harm than good.

Here are a few I’ve observed (and there are many more). Maybe you can add some others: Continue reading Four Ways to (Politely) Pummel Harmony →

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Uncategorized

Excuses That Don’t Cut It With Me

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Communication of people. 3d render. Isolated on white background
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Last weekend we celebrated my Dad’s 90th birthday with a big bash: sit-down dinner, fancy centerpieces, a proclamation by the Mayor (yes, really!), and a video retrospective of his life – the whole shot. He had personally made a list of people he wanted there, and the invitations went out well in advance. We made plans based on all those who said they were coming. Some had to change their plans at the last minute due to hospitalizations and unexpected obligations. That’s understandable.

But to those who said to him in the days that followed, “We got busy that day and just forgot”, I say, “Excuse me??” That may fly if you’re talking about taking out the trash or getting the oil changed in your car. But don’t disrespect my Dad – the coolest guy on the planet – by saying you “forgot”. He specifically wanted you there and you couldn’t write it on your calendar? Not acceptable.

(And to those who never responded one way or the other to his invitation, don’t even get me started…)

That experience got me thinking . . .  Here are a few more excuses that don’t cut it with me: Continue reading Excuses That Don’t Cut It With Me →

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Community, Friendship, Grief

Sometimes You CAN Go Home Again

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Maybe it all depends on how you define home.

The high school I graduated from in North Miami, Florida, has been torn down and the areas around the original site are now a blight.  The old neighborhoods are unrecognizable and some are even dangerous. Very little is the way it was when we were young.

Still, this past weekend 50 of my high school friends gathered on a Florida beach to celebrate a shared milestone birthday. Former classmates traveled from Texas, Colorado, Massachusetts, Illinois . . . and of course, every corner of Florida, to be together. It was important. Continue reading Sometimes You CAN Go Home Again →

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Friendship, Uncategorized

Remembering Who I Used to Be

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Earlier this week, a friend I haven’t seen in years sent me a video clip on Facebook he had recently put together from old footage of a group of us scuba diving off the beach of Hollywood, FL in the late 70s.

Back then, we all worked in the advertising department of a discount retail chain creating print ads for irregular merchandise, and battling boredom every day.  But we found our release by diving every chance we got after work and on weekends.  Our objective was always to catch tiny tropical fish for our saltwater aquariums (and maybe a Florida lobster for dinner), but mostly we just wanted to be together on the reef.

The film was a little blurry and shaky, and typically goofy like we always were.  My friend had converted it from 8mm to digital and added a soundtrack with a scratchy newscast about President Carter and some songs we all enjoyed back then.  It flipped the switch on a flood of memories for me.

Understand, I have lived in the Midwest for most of my adult life and haven’t been diving for years. But watching this shaky, silly video, I flashed back 35 years and there I was again.

What came back was more than just the basics of who, what, when, and where.   I smelled the air, felt the heat of the sand, shivered at the first plunge in the water.  I felt the pressure in my ears and the pounding of my heart, heard my breathing through the regulator and thrilled once again to the beauty of the underwater world.    

What’s more, I remembered how I felt then.  What I was conflicted about.  What I found pleasure in.  Who mattered.

We were all young and unconcerned about what life would hand us over the long haul – and in retrospect, it was a load.  On the reef that day, it didn’t matter.  We weren’t concerned that years later all we would have is a shaky film montage – and the feelings it triggered – to remind us of that simpler time.

I smiled and smiled, watching that video, but I cried a little, too.  For the one of our group of friends who won’t see it because he died of cancer 8 years ago.  And for another who won’t see it because our relationship was irretrievably broken decades ago.

But for 4 minutes and 19 seconds, I remembered who I used to be.  And who I still am.

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