Tag Archives: acceptance

The Guest I Hope Never Leaves

IMG_2355It’s foggy. The air is warm and thick. Below, the surface of the lake is perfectly still, the silence broken only by the occasional splash of a fish snagging a morning morsel or the whisper of wings skimming by.

I’m sipping my coffee across from an empty patio chair and a thought jerks me aware: What if Christ were sitting there, relaxing with a mug of Columbian deep roast in His hand and half a smile on His face? The incarnate God of the universe, choosing to spend a companionable moment with me at a simple plastic table?

I’m immediately humbled – and ashamed.

There are so many other places He could be and way more interesting people to enjoy a brand new day with. There are desperate souls with crushing problems and entire governments unravelling even now. I’m stunned that He would stop by here and I think, I shouldn’t be taking up His time. I don’t deserve Him.

I almost tell Him so; but I stop.

What if this is exactly where He wants to be right now? What if He intentionally opted to be here and His presence at my table doesn’t diminish His impact (or limit His intervention) elsewhere?

Well, obviously, I’d close this laptop and give Him my full attention. I wouldn’t be planning out the rest of my day, giving in to distractions, and letting my mind wander. For sure, I wouldn’t be glancing at my phone every time it buzzed.

And I’d certainly know better than to fret about my loved ones and call it prayer.

My shame at being in His presence turns to relief. I’m so glad He’s here. Tears well up in my eyes and overflow freely down my cheeks. He reaches over to touch my soggy face and in that healing moment, I exhale.

He smiles; He knows me so well. And He asks for a refill.

 

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Breathing Jesus

sad man on beachI have several, shall we say, complicated relationships in my life. The identities and details aren’t important here but my struggle to resolve friction and find peace with them, is.

Relational meltdowns leave me reeling. As weird as it may sound, I experience what I imagine suffocation would feel like: desperation turning to panic, then helplessness, hopelessness, and finally, defeat. I know, how dramatic. But perhaps you can relate on some level. Continue reading Breathing Jesus

A Question That’s Never Inappropriate

People ask really cringe-worthy questions of each other all the time, have you noticed?conversation

“Are you pregnant or just putting on weight?”

“What kind of money do you make in that job?”

“You look good… Botox?”

“You’re leaving the ministry? Isn’t that like getting a divorce from God?”

“Why are you still single?”

“What caused your marriage to end; didn’t you try hard enough?”

“Is that a toupee?”

I used to think when I was asked something inappropriate, if I responded, “Excuse me?” the person would repeat the question, hear how outrageous it sounded, and maybe decide to withdraw it.

I’ve found that almost never works. Continue reading A Question That’s Never Inappropriate

Jesus had scars, too

I once took a major header in a bank parking lot in Hammond, Indiana, chasing a bad guy. (True story.) I skidded across the gravel on all fours and took off the first layer of skin on the fronts of both my lower legs and the heels of both hands.

My adrenalin was pumping, so it didn’t hurt at first; I got up and kept running. But later, when the fun was over (after we caught the guy) and I was in the ER, I realized, “THAT’S going to leave a mark”. Which it did.

Even though they anesthetized the area and removed the dirt and rocks from my legs and hands by scrubbing them with what felt like a wire brush (ouch), there was some “tattooing” effect on my legs for a long time. That was awhile back now and it’s since faded, thankfully.

I’ve actually been fortunate not to have experienced a lot of injuries that would leave visible marks, even though I’ve been physically active my whole life (and my chosen profession notwithstanding).

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERABut we all know, it’s not just shoulder surgeries, herniated discs, and road burn that leave their calling cards. The invisible scars can be worse. Continue reading Jesus had scars, too

An invitation prompted by a ’70s folk song

gordon-lightfoot-sundownWho out there remembers the Gordon Lightfoot song, “If you could read my mind”?  If you’re singing it in your mind right now, you’ll recall the next line was “…what a tale my thoughts could tell”.

I was a big fan back in the day and even went to hear him in concert live. Then I bought a book of his music and tried to teach myself (unsuccessfully) to play the guitar.

The song – which remains etched into my mind after all that – is about feelings that have been lost and ghosts from wishing wells and paperback novels and…well,  other things that don’t apply here.

But the part about “what a tale our thoughts could tell”? That, I can relate to. Continue reading An invitation prompted by a ’70s folk song

Are you at least willing to consider this possibility?

Have mercy upon usI had a partner in the FBI who was a brilliant agent. Jack* had the ability to survey a complex set of facts and glean exactly what was necessary to make a prosecutable case. He could focus on what mattered and not get distracted by all the rest.

That alone would have been enough to win the admiration of his peers. But the other thing was, Jack was unfailingly respectful to everyone, even those suspected of egregious crimes.

One day we showed up unannounced (not uncommon in the FBI) to talk to a guy who really did not want to answer our questions (also not uncommon in the FBI). The man we were interviewing resorted to insulting us to try and make us angry so we would leave. He called us every vulgar name in the book and cast aspersions on the moral character of every one of our ancestors. That’s putting it nicely.

Jack, in his inimitable style, looked him in the eye and with a smile said, Continue reading Are you at least willing to consider this possibility?

I’m leading a duct tape life

duct-tapeWhen the fiberglass floor in my upstairs shower cracked due to faulty installation, it was duct tape that kept the water from leaking through to the ceiling below until I could get the whole tray replaced.

When the vacuum cleaner hose split and rendered the vacuum useless, it was duct tape that restored suction and extended old Eureka’s life.

When I realized, going out the door, that the hem of my pant leg was hanging, it was duct tape that made me presentable until I could get home and stitch it up.

There are entire websites devoted to handy and often unusual uses for duct tape. (A friend of mine has been known to put a strip of it over her own mouth. And that’s all you need to know about that.)

It’s patched more than a few holes in window screens around here, and stopped winter chills from seeping in through window frames and door jambs. I mean, who doesn’t have at least one roll of this stuff in their house, car, garage, or office? You probably have some great duct tape “survival” tales yourself.

Admittedly, it’s not always attractive – though it does come in colors now – but there’s beauty in its simplicity. Besides, it’s inexpensive…and it works.

Ideally, we’d never need duct tape. If things always worked the way they’re supposed to and parts didn’t break, we would never have to discover all the ways duct tape can rescue us. Big “if”.

I think of my life as being held together with a kind of duct tape. Far from being a bad thing, this is actually pretty amazing. I’ll tell you why. Continue reading I’m leading a duct tape life

The answer to this question is not as easy as it sounds

When I was a kid growing up in Key West, there was a young guy in our church, Charlie (not his real name). Every time someone greeted him with, “How you doin’, Charlie?” his response was always, “I’m tired.” Maybe he had a legitimate reason to be constantly exhausted, I don’t know. All I can tell you is, to this day the only thing I remember about that guy is he would always say he was tired.

I shake my head at that now, but I have to wonder, how many times do we – all of us – refer to ourselves in ways that are negative and, over time, allow them to become part of our very identity?

“Tired” seems minor compared to some labels we allow. We accept certain traits about ourselves as unchangeable or certain troubles as inevitable and we miss the truth that we often have a choice.

This morning, my pastor made this specific statement: “God is hard at work in your hopeless situation.” And I started thinking, “What in my life seems hopeless? And if God is hard at work, is it really?”

I was immediately reminded of an interesting story Continue reading The answer to this question is not as easy as it sounds

The Humility of Being Replaceable

Spiritual Oxygen pin

Early in my law enforcement career, I was assigned to an office in an economically depressed part of Indiana. I recall going out on one particular raid with fellow agents and police in a rundown housing project. When we barreled through the front door of this dingy apartment, there were small children sleeping on a ragged couch in the living room. The spectacle of a dozen or more police and Federal agents with guns, Continue reading The Humility of Being Replaceable

God Didn’t Really Mean THIS, Did He?

I like to think I’m a fairly flexible person. I can soldier on in the face of change and adjust my expectations to most any new reality. I can even resign myself to misery if I have to as long as I know there’s an end in sight.

But I found myself really churned up about a change at work not long ago and I was mentally mapping out my exit strategy. I wasn’t going to adjust this time; I was checking out.  Two weeks, three max. It was a matter of respect and honor and I wasn’t comprising. Mule

Oh, yeah. I was all righteous.

And then the morning after this change was announced, I read an Oswald Chambers devotional based on John 15:12, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Chambers noted:

“God loved me not because I was lovable, but because it was His nature to do so.”

Then what he said next really slapped me in the face: Continue reading God Didn’t Really Mean THIS, Did He?