Category Archives: Christian Life

If you want a stable relationship, get a horse

Largo wants a carrotWe laugh at that because it rings true. Sometimes we can feel like the only place to find a “stable” relationship is, well, in a stable. That’s especially true if we’ve been burned relationally more than a few times. We start to yearn for settled, reliable, safe. But stable relationships are few and far between, as much as we may wish that weren’t so.

Here’s the thing: My sister has horses; four of them and she loves them like children. But she will be among the first to tell you, the only thing stable about them is where they live.

They’re beautiful and unpredictable, thrilling and a little – or a lot – dangerous. (Ask her sometime about dislocated shoulders, torn ACLs and loosened teeth.) To watch them run with wild abandon is to be inspired and awed. (Even the old guys.)

I’ve always loved how God calls attention to the horse’s power and beauty in the Old Testament book of Job: “Do you give the horse its strength or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?” (Job 39:19)  At the final judgment, we are told Jesus will ride in victory on a majestic white horse (Revelation 19:11). That’s just cool!

Which brings me to this: When we get right down to it, is a “stable” relationship really what we want out of life?

Recently I was going through a workbook/journal I had kept in connection with a book I read about 10 years ago. I came across something I had written then that not only reminded me of where I was at that time, but how far I’ve come. Here it is (don’t laugh): Continue reading If you want a stable relationship, get a horse

Is it really this simple to show you care?

Recently I was asked to take on a small assignment for my church. It was a little outside my comfort zone but not beyond my ability, so I said okay. After all, I’m new there and I had said I wanted to be involved in any way I could.Three keys

It’s not a big church; the staff members each wear several hats. This day the worship pastor had put on his videographer “hat” and was asking me questions while filming my answers. (What a relief I wasn’t asked to sing, right?) Continue reading Is it really this simple to show you care?

Who is your “Byron”?

PJS_0235 (crop)Wallace is 90 years old now, moving a little slower than he used to but still sharp as a tack and fully engaged in, as he would say, “doing the Lord’s work”. Yesterday he flew – alone – from Miami to Johnson City, Tennessee. This required that he change planes in Atlanta. In a wheelchair. And deal with TSA.

Understand, this is a true Southern gentleman who, just over 9 months ago, had open heart surgery. A month and a half or so ago, he fought a serious bout with bronchitis that nearly landed him in the hospital.

So you have to wonder: Why in the world would he take on a trip like this?

One reason and one reason only: Continue reading Who is your “Byron”?

Because a gift can become a weapon

Have you ever heard the adage, “The one who keeps the minutes determines the outcome of the meeting?” When I take the notes for a meeting, recount an event, or write a report of an interview, I always introduce my own bias into the record. It’s inevitable.

Words have limitations.

Even when I strive to be completely objective, the words I choose, the way I organize and frame the content – these necessarily reflect a little of me.

If you’re a “wordsmith” – someone who puts words together well – you have a gift that can be the proverbial two-edged sword. People may come to depend on you to summarize what happened in a given situation and even look to you for an interpretation of that event. Because you are reasonably well-spoken and communicate well, they may seek your personal opinion on other topics as well.

Make no mistake: There’s power and responsibility in that.set a guard over my mouth

On the one hand, when you use your communication gift with integrity, you have the privilege of insuring information is presented accurately and completely. You can tell the full story and tell it in a way that adds to the conversation; you can build up rather than tear down. You can also shine a light of truth on negative things that need to be exposed.

Continue reading Because a gift can become a weapon

God Didn’t Really Mean THIS, Did He?

I like to think I’m a fairly flexible person. I can soldier on in the face of change and adjust my expectations to most any new reality. I can even resign myself to misery if I have to as long as I know there’s an end in sight.

But I found myself really churned up about a change at work not long ago and I was mentally mapping out my exit strategy. I wasn’t going to adjust this time; I was checking out.  Two weeks, three max. It was a matter of respect and honor and I wasn’t comprising. Mule

Oh, yeah. I was all righteous.

And then the morning after this change was announced, I read an Oswald Chambers devotional based on John 15:12, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Chambers noted:

“God loved me not because I was lovable, but because it was His nature to do so.”

Then what he said next really slapped me in the face: Continue reading God Didn’t Really Mean THIS, Did He?

When I am at my meanest

Yesterday my to-do list included mailing in my quarterly State and Federal income taxes. I detest writing those checks but I detest putting them in the mailbox even more. Still, I am a rule follower. Whether or not I like how the government spends my tax dollars, I always pay my fair share and I do it on time.

Until I didn’t.

wide eyeImagine my dismay when I pulled out my file and Continue reading When I am at my meanest

How would you finish this sentence?

pin bg girl silhouette Isaiah 43I know I’m not the only one who sometimes imagines how I would respond if I could have a “do over”. I stew about past mistakes and think about what it would be like to have a fresh start. It can be draining.

Sometimes we whine about fairly inconsequential things. For example (and I may or may not have said any of these things, okay?):

“If I had it to do over again, I think I’d have  … Continue reading How would you finish this sentence?

The Exquisite Ache of Mothering

022387 Brand new Allison (crop)
Welcome to the world!

These are things I ask myself: Why does a woman long for motherhood? Just what is the irresistible draw?  Is it the desire to bring a child into the security of a warm circle of love?  The particular mix of hormones brought on by the passage of a certain number of birthdays? Acquiescence to relentless pressure from family and friends? An unquenchable desire to love and be loved in a wholly unique way?

Perhaps it’s a combination of all these. Whatever the answer, if God should allow her that privilege, there are a few things she should know: Continue reading The Exquisite Ache of Mothering

This package is not for you

cavern morgueFile free photo heirbornstudIn the last two weeks, two of my closest family members have faced health crises that have sent me into an emotional tailspin. I’ve defaulted to my specialty – worry – and it has not served me well. Can you relate?

I wake up again and again in the night, my mind a dark labyrinth of thoughts spinning and clashing out of control. Fear lurks like a thick fog over my bed. Each time, I pray: for a positive outcome to whatever medical procedure looms next, for complete healing of mind and body, for confidence and courage. Then I find soft comfort as I drift back to sleep, only to wake again a short time later, my mind in overdrive once more. Continue reading This package is not for you

Four Ways to (Politely) Pummel Harmony

mask morgueFile free photo claritaAs I continue my focus on the word “harmony” in 2013, I’ve been thinking about behaviors that look like harmony-producers but in reality are harmony-busters. They seem innocuous enough, perhaps even helpful. But over time, they can do more harm than good.

Here are a few I’ve observed (and there are many more). Maybe you can add some others: Continue reading Four Ways to (Politely) Pummel Harmony