Tag Archives: humility

It’s Not a Gift If You Have to Pay For It

Maybe it’s because we’ve just celebrated Christmas that I’ve been thinking about gifts. I wonder, why do we do that? What is it that inspires humans to give things to each other?

Gift definitionBack in the 80’s, a friend of mine married into an affluent family. As a wedding gift, her in-laws said they wanted to spring for bedroom furniture for her and her new husband.

The happy couple was elated; they went out shopping and found a great deal on a lovely walnut set: a dresser, chest and two end tables. It was perfect for their small rented apartment and they were beyond pleased.

There was just one problem: it wasn’t what my friend’s new mother-in-law had in mind and she was quick to tell them so. Continue reading It’s Not a Gift If You Have to Pay For It

Are you at least willing to consider this possibility?

Have mercy upon usI had a partner in the FBI who was a brilliant agent. Jack* had the ability to survey a complex set of facts and glean exactly what was necessary to make a prosecutable case. He could focus on what mattered and not get distracted by all the rest.

That alone would have been enough to win the admiration of his peers. But the other thing was, Jack was unfailingly respectful to everyone, even those suspected of egregious crimes.

One day we showed up unannounced (not uncommon in the FBI) to talk to a guy who really did not want to answer our questions (also not uncommon in the FBI). The man we were interviewing resorted to insulting us to try and make us angry so we would leave. He called us every vulgar name in the book and cast aspersions on the moral character of every one of our ancestors. That’s putting it nicely.

Jack, in his inimitable style, looked him in the eye and with a smile said, Continue reading Are you at least willing to consider this possibility?

The Humility of Being Replaceable

Spiritual Oxygen pin

Early in my law enforcement career, I was assigned to an office in an economically depressed part of Indiana. I recall going out on one particular raid with fellow agents and police in a rundown housing project. When we barreled through the front door of this dingy apartment, there were small children sleeping on a ragged couch in the living room. The spectacle of a dozen or more police and Federal agents with guns, Continue reading The Humility of Being Replaceable

Is it really this simple to show you care?

Recently I was asked to take on a small assignment for my church. It was a little outside my comfort zone but not beyond my ability, so I said okay. After all, I’m new there and I had said I wanted to be involved in any way I could.Three keys

It’s not a big church; the staff members each wear several hats. This day the worship pastor had put on his videographer “hat” and was asking me questions while filming my answers. (What a relief I wasn’t asked to sing, right?) Continue reading Is it really this simple to show you care?

God Didn’t Really Mean THIS, Did He?

I like to think I’m a fairly flexible person. I can soldier on in the face of change and adjust my expectations to most any new reality. I can even resign myself to misery if I have to as long as I know there’s an end in sight.

But I found myself really churned up about a change at work not long ago and I was mentally mapping out my exit strategy. I wasn’t going to adjust this time; I was checking out.  Two weeks, three max. It was a matter of respect and honor and I wasn’t comprising. Mule

Oh, yeah. I was all righteous.

And then the morning after this change was announced, I read an Oswald Chambers devotional based on John 15:12, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Chambers noted:

“God loved me not because I was lovable, but because it was His nature to do so.”

Then what he said next really slapped me in the face: Continue reading God Didn’t Really Mean THIS, Did He?

One of the most powerful forces on earth

Amit letter (3)On Valentine’s Day, a letter arrived in my mailbox from the little boy I sponsor in Bangladesh through Compassion International. Through an interpreter, he told me about his Christmas and what he had been able to get with the money I had sent him and his family. At the end of the letter, the translator (Timothio) noted, “He is weak in education. Please pray for him. He also prays for you.”

Imagine … a 9 year-old child in a Third World country, praying for me. I was undone. Continue reading One of the most powerful forces on earth

And I Thought MY Life Was a Workaround

Despite our best efforts (or maybe because we often withhold our best efforts), we are forced to continually bob and weave, reposition, and adjust in this life. Even if all our own choices were wise (unlikely), we would still be operating in the company of other flawed humans.  We all lead workaround lives.

But have you ever stopped to think about who led the ultimate workaround life? Continue reading And I Thought MY Life Was a Workaround

Do I Detect A Little Slippage Here?

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems our “good intentions” department is a little low on inventory these days.

Looking around, civility appears a little thin. Chivalry – despite those who like to say it isn’t dead – is fighting for a good, deep breath. And sympathy? Sympathy is struggling to stay afloat.

I’m just not sure we’re as nice as we could be any more. Has it become acceptable to get by with the minimum, to be happy with  a half-hearted effort, the “old college try”? Are we too closed off emotionally? Too busy? Just tired?

flickr.com by macrophile

Why Singleness Is a Lot Like Green Beans

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would get frustrated with you because you wouldn’t eat your vegetables? Your mom would try to convince you that they were good for you (as if that were a compelling reason for a 9-year old to eat something like green beans). Finally, in a fit of exasperation your dad would boom, “You will EAT them and you will LIKE them or you won’t be allowed to (fill in the blank)!”

I think that’s when I first got really good at passive aggressiveness. Okay, I would eat them, but he could NOT make me like them!

Yes, I know, some kids were crazy about green beans, but I wasn’t one of them. It took a while for me to find something about them that could get me past their taste and texture to actually choose them as part of my diet. Certainly, my taste buds had to mature; but more important, I had to mature enough to see the big picture: that my health was key to my happiness.

My mother was right; those green beans were loaded with nutrients that made them good for me and that was reason enough for me to eat them and eventually come to like them. Now they bring back memories of Thanksgiving casseroles and the particular warmth and aroma of my Grandmother’s kitchen (especially if you throw in some cream of mushroom soup and a can of those fried onions).

Singleness can hit us the same way. Maybe deep down we know being single could be the best thing for us right now. We may have some work to do on ourselves before we have any business being in another relationship. We may even know that singleness could actually be a wise choice for our long-term happiness.

Fine. But darn if we’re going to like it!

We stamp our foot (figuratively, of course) and refuse to consider that God may have something important to teach us during this season and that it could actually turn out to be a time of unparalleled spiritual growth and emotional healing. We don’t want to approach singleness with a sense of expectation and humility; we just want to be in a relationship!

Turns out, green beans won’t kill you. They might even make you healthier, if you make them a regular part of your diet. (And go easy on the cream of mushroom soup and fried onions!)

I’m pretty sure singleness won’t kill you either. You could even find something about this season to like, as you look at the big picture and choose to trust that God will use your present to form your future.

Now. About Brussels sprouts . . .