Tag Archives: love

A Costly Lesson About Closed Doors

IMG_3405This past week I was looking for something in a closet and came across a box of old handwritten letters. They were still in their original envelopes, held together with rotted rubber bands. I pulled them out and the next thing I knew, I had lost an entire afternoon.

What a kick to read stories from my then-25 year old sister gushing about the new job she had come to love. To revisit my mother’s fretting over her upcoming nursing board exams and hear again, at the end of every letter, how much she loved me. Priceless.

There was my Dad, telling about a fire in the building next door to the church, so hot it melted the plastic curtains in one of the Sunday School rooms and Continue reading A Costly Lesson About Closed Doors

They Called Me “Little Ernie”

 

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Ernestine

Growing up, we always spent our summer vacations with my mother’s extended family in South Carolina. We would head north in our un-airconditioned car from Key West, the three of us kids squabbling in the backseat, my mother constantly trying to keep us from killing each other, and my dad at the wheel, clinching his jaw and patiently pressing on.

After an overnight stay with my paternal grandmother in North Florida, we would roll in to Spartanburg the next day to spend a week or so with aunts, uncles, and cousins – interesting characters that fascinate me even now: the snuff-dipping aunt and her ubiquitous spit cup, the uncle who sang “shaped notes” with the men’s quartet and insisted there was a goat under the house, the eccentric aunt who pretended to read palms, and the gruff uncle who we thought was the luckiest man on the planet because he had a plow horse named Molly.

One of my ancient aunts measured how much we loved her by the volume of food we could stuff in our faces at meal time: “Eat! Eat!” (Those of you from the South will recognize that as a specific love language.) I once ate an entire cantaloupe at lunch just to please her.

I was thrilled when one Sunday, some of the older aunts and second cousins pulled out pictures of my mother as a girl about the age I was at that time. In a flurry of excitement, they declared that I looked “just like her” when she was young and they dubbed me “Little Ernie”. (My mother’s name – which I don’t think she ever liked – was Ernestine.) Continue reading They Called Me “Little Ernie”

Thinking Differently About Roots

I was honored to guest-post on ryanhuguley.com this week. Please head over there to read “Thinking Differently About Roots” in its entirety.

 

RootsI am part of that group known as “GRITS” – girls raised in the south. I was born in Florida and spent my most formative years there. Well before the various ancestry databases were put on the internet (before there was even an internet), both my parents could trace their histories back multiple generations, even as far as the Revolutionary War.

My southern roots run deep; I was well into adulthood before my career prompted me to move away.

I’m more than one of the GRITS, though.

Where my “people” are from is just one of countless labels that could be used to describe me. I’m sure that’s true of you, too. We all anchor our identities in things like where we’re from, our career choices, sports allegiances, religious affiliations, and political parties, to name just a few. These descriptors become part of our personal narrative that helps us (and others) understand who we are. It’s pleasant to discover shared interests – or establish the basis for some good-natured ribbing – in order to enjoy common ground with other people.

But I wonder if there is a different way to think about our roots?

To read the rest of this post, please click here.

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Looks like you could use some manna

“Now the house of Israel called its name manna. It was like coriander seed, white, and the taste of it was like wafers made with honey.” (Exodus 16:31)

You remember the story, right? How God kept the Israelites from starving in the desert by sending them free food straight from the sky, every single day? They called it manna which, loosely translated, meant “What is it?”

That’s just cool. And it actually doesn’t sound bad, does it? “The taste of it was like wafers made with honey” – kind of makes me think of Honey Nut Corn Flakes or Rice Krispies with sugar.

It settled on the ground along with the dew every morning. All they had to do was gather it up and prepare it in any one of a number of different ways and they’d have nutritious, filling food. No worries.

In the beginning, the Israelites tried to save some from one day to the next, just in case God didn’t come through. (They were worry warts just like us.) But that didn’t work. If they hoarded it, the manna would get wormy and start to reek overnight. They had to rely on God and scoop it up first thing every day or go hungry.

Theoretically, through this process, not only would they not starve, their faith in God would grow. They would learn to trust Him as their Provider and they would realize that no part of their survival was their own doing.

Of course, if you’ve read the Biblical story, you’ll recall the people got tired of a steady diet of the stuff, especially when that was all they had to eat for forty years. They started griping and complaining and it got ugly. Continue reading Looks like you could use some manna

I’m leading a duct tape life

duct-tapeWhen the fiberglass floor in my upstairs shower cracked due to faulty installation, it was duct tape that kept the water from leaking through to the ceiling below until I could get the whole tray replaced.

When the vacuum cleaner hose split and rendered the vacuum useless, it was duct tape that restored suction and extended old Eureka’s life.

When I realized, going out the door, that the hem of my pant leg was hanging, it was duct tape that made me presentable until I could get home and stitch it up.

There are entire websites devoted to handy and often unusual uses for duct tape. (A friend of mine has been known to put a strip of it over her own mouth. And that’s all you need to know about that.)

It’s patched more than a few holes in window screens around here, and stopped winter chills from seeping in through window frames and door jambs. I mean, who doesn’t have at least one roll of this stuff in their house, car, garage, or office? You probably have some great duct tape “survival” tales yourself.

Admittedly, it’s not always attractive – though it does come in colors now – but there’s beauty in its simplicity. Besides, it’s inexpensive…and it works.

Ideally, we’d never need duct tape. If things always worked the way they’re supposed to and parts didn’t break, we would never have to discover all the ways duct tape can rescue us. Big “if”.

I think of my life as being held together with a kind of duct tape. Far from being a bad thing, this is actually pretty amazing. I’ll tell you why. Continue reading I’m leading a duct tape life

If you want a stable relationship, get a horse

Largo wants a carrotWe laugh at that because it rings true. Sometimes we can feel like the only place to find a “stable” relationship is, well, in a stable. That’s especially true if we’ve been burned relationally more than a few times. We start to yearn for settled, reliable, safe. But stable relationships are few and far between, as much as we may wish that weren’t so.

Here’s the thing: My sister has horses; four of them and she loves them like children. But she will be among the first to tell you, the only thing stable about them is where they live.

They’re beautiful and unpredictable, thrilling and a little – or a lot – dangerous. (Ask her sometime about dislocated shoulders, torn ACLs and loosened teeth.) To watch them run with wild abandon is to be inspired and awed. (Even the old guys.)

I’ve always loved how God calls attention to the horse’s power and beauty in the Old Testament book of Job: “Do you give the horse its strength or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?” (Job 39:19)  At the final judgment, we are told Jesus will ride in victory on a majestic white horse (Revelation 19:11). That’s just cool!

Which brings me to this: When we get right down to it, is a “stable” relationship really what we want out of life?

Recently I was going through a workbook/journal I had kept in connection with a book I read about 10 years ago. I came across something I had written then that not only reminded me of where I was at that time, but how far I’ve come. Here it is (don’t laugh): Continue reading If you want a stable relationship, get a horse

The Folly of a Change of Fonts

July 17Go ahead. Try any font. From my point of view, it doesn’t matter. The shape of the letters that form the word July, the angles of the number 17 – these are harsh and unnecessary. Even cruel.

Every year I dread this date and the sadness it rekindles. It’s been 16 years. How many more? Continue reading The Folly of a Change of Fonts

Who is your “Byron”?

PJS_0235 (crop)Wallace is 90 years old now, moving a little slower than he used to but still sharp as a tack and fully engaged in, as he would say, “doing the Lord’s work”. Yesterday he flew – alone – from Miami to Johnson City, Tennessee. This required that he change planes in Atlanta. In a wheelchair. And deal with TSA.

Understand, this is a true Southern gentleman who, just over 9 months ago, had open heart surgery. A month and a half or so ago, he fought a serious bout with bronchitis that nearly landed him in the hospital.

So you have to wonder: Why in the world would he take on a trip like this?

One reason and one reason only: Continue reading Who is your “Byron”?

The Exquisite Ache of Mothering

022387 Brand new Allison (crop)
Welcome to the world!

These are things I ask myself: Why does a woman long for motherhood? Just what is the irresistible draw?  Is it the desire to bring a child into the security of a warm circle of love?  The particular mix of hormones brought on by the passage of a certain number of birthdays? Acquiescence to relentless pressure from family and friends? An unquenchable desire to love and be loved in a wholly unique way?

Perhaps it’s a combination of all these. Whatever the answer, if God should allow her that privilege, there are a few things she should know: Continue reading The Exquisite Ache of Mothering

Have I Written About You?

“Strays in a tray; some thrown away. Rounded down. Unheeded; unneeded.” *

pennies

If you knew that you were the inspiration for something I wrote, would you be flattered – or flustered? Would you be interested to know how I depicted you and why? Or would you want to get the heck out of here NOW? Continue reading Have I Written About You?