Tag Archives: Faith

Maybe This Will Help

Sometimes life piles on. You get one bit of bad news after the other, you find yourself responding to yet another crisis, or you’re dealing with the fortieth difficult personality of the week. Before you know it, you feel like a random spark is going to set the whole pyre ablaze and take you with it.

And then you turn on the news.

Whose idea was this 24-hour news cycle anyway? It just means we keep hearing the same negative developments, the worst of the political rancor, and the most shocking accounts of human depravity … every 15-30 minutes. The mere repetition of the reports makes it feel like things are even worse than they are. And with few exceptions, there’s very little you or I can do about any of it by following it in the media except get agitated, outraged, and even fearful. If I’ve had too much coffee, it can get really exhausting.

Honestly, I could do with a little less of that. So here’s what I’m planning to do: Continue reading Maybe This Will Help

I’m Firing Olivia Pope

(Right off the bat, let me assure you: this post has NOTHING to do with politics.)

If you’ve seen the TV drama ‘”Scandal”, you know Olivia Pope as the fictional “fixer” who averts or minimizes crises for the President of the United States. She swoops in and manages his reputation, spins events to his political advantage, and helps him avoid embarrassment. She can reframe the most compromising situations so he always looks respectable. (Of course, in the show, she also does other things – and so does he – that indicate questionable character, but I’ll limit my analogy to the “fixer” part of her role here.)

Here’s the thing: I often feel like I would like my own Olivia Pope. Someone who can run interference,  polish me up, and make me seem like a better version of myself than I really am. And you know who I’m inclined to appoint to that position? Me.

I laughingly tell people all the time that my life’s goal is to: “Never humiliate yourself; others are far too willing to do it for you.” I’m only half kidding when I say that. But I don’t think I’m alone in this, am I? I think we’re all control freaks to some extent when it comes to how we want to be perceived by other people.

For example: Continue reading I’m Firing Olivia Pope

I’m crossing some things off my list this year

A couple of years ago, I jumped on the “resolution revolution” bandwagon and joined an initiative called OneWord365. The idea was that instead of making New Year’s resolutions (which never worked for me), participants would choose a single word to focus on for the entire year, a word that would sum up “who you want to be or how you want to live”. That year, I decided on the word “harmony”.

I had chosen it prayerfully, knowing that being mindful of this word could change the soundtrack of my life if I let it. I began to “take a beat” before I reacted to things, and ask myself, “Do I know this to be true?” And further,  “Is my response in this situation going to create harmony or jeopardize it?” This practice became reflexive over time and helpful in a variety of ways.

I’m back on the bandwagon this year, and I’ve chosen a word (again, prayerfully) that seems to particularly resonate at this point in my life.

My word for 2017 is “Release”.

If you know me, you know that I’m something of a perfectionist. (Okay, maybe a lot of a perfectionist.) And the truth is, being a perfectionist – though it might sound desirable – can actually hamstring my effectiveness in both my professional and personal life. I would argue it’s a cowardly way to be and I need to knock it off. That means I need to do more than just loosen my grip; I need to drop the reins entirely and get off the dang horse, handing over control to God.

The first step to doing this, I’ve concluded, is for me to identify the root of this need for control. What makes me want to take over and do everything in my power to manage outcomes . . . or wring my hands with worry when I can’t? Why do I hold myself to an impossibly high and thoroughly unhelpful standard?

To be fair, I think we all do this, at least to some extent. We hedge our bets, we try not to care too much, we hide, we pretend we’ve got it together, and some of us become perfectionists as “insurance” against failure. And still, we fail. So why do we do that?

Once I figure out my underlying motivation, I believe I’ll be headed in the right direction.

Now before you give me “that look” because you’re skeptical that I can change this tendency of mine at this late date, let me add this. I still intend to do what I do with excellence, because that honors God. But I’m going to make it a priority not to try and micromanage my life, because that’s a losing proposition (and frankly, exhausting). And honestly? I have a habit of letting things go and then taking them back, so I’m going to need God’s help if there’s to be lasting change.

So here I go. Already I’m starting to get some clarity on this just by landing on the word and I intend to probe it with intentionality in the coming months. I’m excited to see what God puts His finger on for me to release this year.

Maybe the process will help you, too.

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I learned a new word

When you think of the Puritans, do you envision a group that had it together, faith-wise? Super pious and dialed-in to God in a way the rest of us could only imagine? Speaking in “thees” and “thous” like old English poets or certain translations of inspired scripture? I do. Or at least I did.

I have a book of Puritan prayers, a Christmas gift from a dear friend a few years back. I regularly pick it up to ponder the eloquent way they expressed their deep and authentic relationship with God back then. I want to be inspired in my own prayer life and this helps.

Interestingly, I’ve found from these prayers that the Puritan “saints” wrestled with doubts, temptations, and failures just like the rest of us. Fortunately, many of them journaled their meditations and contemplations, not for publication but for the exercise and deepening of their personal faith. Their writings provide the source material for the book . . .  and some enduring lessons for me.

Recently I read a selection titled “Weaknesses” and learned a new word: carking. I can honestly say I had never heard this term before but in context it makes perfect sense. Continue reading I learned a new word

I’ll take the red carnation, thank you – revisiting an odd tradition

This post was originally published for Mother’s Day 2014. It is as relevant now as it ever was, so I am reposting it this year in honor of my sweet Mama. To those of you who never knew her, you missed a real lady.   

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red-Carnations38Recently, I was handed a red carnation as an acknowledgement of my participation in a community event. Looking at it, I was reminded of a tradition in many churches when I was growing up.

On Mother’s Day, at least in the South, when you went to church you wore a carnation on your lapel or dress – a red one if your mother was alive, a white one if she had died. (Do you remember this?) Continue reading I’ll take the red carnation, thank you – revisiting an odd tradition

The surprising thing about “weakness”

IMG_9610.PNGWho among us hasn’t wondered about the role of prayer in the overall scheme of things? Almost no one turns down an offer of prayer in a crisis, but why do we pray when God already knows what He’s going to do? Can we change His mind? What’s different about prayers offered silently and in private, versus praying aloud with others?

For all these questions about prayer there are surely an equal number of deep theological responses (which I for sure don’t have). But I find there’s beauty in wrestling with our uncertainty and lovely things to discover about our God as we communicate with Him.

Here’s an example from just this week: Continue reading The surprising thing about “weakness”

I Think I Know This Guy

He is always wrestling in prayer for-2He’s a preacher named Epaphras who is said to have helped establish the  first-century church at Colossae. And he’s such a close friend of the apostle Paul that he visits him in a Roman prison and decides to stay awhile.

But this one verse makes me wish we knew a whole lot more about him than just that. Here’s Paul, writing to the Colossians:

“Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.” Colossians 4: 12

That phrase, “always wrestling in prayer for you”, resonates with me. In my mind’s eye, I see our friend Epaphras on his face before God. He’s not “wrestling” in the sense that he’s begging God to do something God doesn’t want to do, but he’s striving to represent the Colossians well, and seeking God’s will for them.

Epaphras really wants to get it right.

It is apparent that as he prays, Epaphras hits on exactly what it is that God wants for the Colossians: that they would stand firm in His will, and that they would be mature and confident in their faith. That’s a request God will certainly say “yes” to.

How does Epaphras know to pray this?

One of the coolest things I know about prayer, I read in Romans 8:26-27:

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27

As we Christians pray, our words are edited by God’s Spirit so that what we ask is in line with God’s will for us. Even when we don’t know what to pray and perhaps all we can do is sigh (or cry), the Holy Spirit puts words to it and implores God in our stead.

That is just amazing.

As a young Christian, I used to wonder what the point was in praying, if God was going to do what God was going to do, regardless. But I think I see the answer in Epaphras. Continue reading I Think I Know This Guy

What does this look like to you?

“You need to tell your followers to knock that loud worship off. They’re making a scene.” 

In their arrogance, the religious elite actually said something just like  that to Jesus . . . and His response was beautiful:

“I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out.” 

hills-mountains-nature-685-621x350Imagine! If we as human beings never again expressed worship to Christ, nature would do it for us. One look at the Grand Canyon (or the tulips this time of year in the Midwest) would convince you of that. He is always worthy of adoration and if we don’t do it, the trees and oceans (and rocks) will.

Reveling in the beauty of creation as God’s handiwork for sure looks like worship.

I have a friend who, though not a “religious person”, thrills to the beauty of sacred music and loves to sing as part of a traditional choir. To her, the blend of the different voices enriches the sound and creates its own beauty.

If you ask her, she would tell you music is itself a form of worship. Who could disagree with that?

It’s natural to be moved to praise God as you walk through a park on a beautiful day or when you’re surrounded by others holding hymnals or following lyrics on a screen. Lately, though, I’ve been thinking about how worship is expressed in the hard things.

Do pain, suffering, and tears look like worship opportunities to you? Cause for begging, pleading, groveling prayers, maybe . . . but worship? Continue reading What does this look like to you?

I Think I Know Lot’s Wife’s Name

IMG_6779Lot, the nephew of Old Testament patriarch Abraham, lived in a rotten neighborhood. In fact, the entire city, as well as the one next door, was so wicked, God ordered they both be destroyed, as a warning to future generations of His disdain for unrepentant sin. To this day, even the names of the cities – Sodom and Gomorrah – have come to epitomize evil and wickedness.

The story in Genesis 19 is riveting: Because Lot was said to have been a righteous man, God sent angels to rescue him and his family before the cities were annihilated.

The angels warned them to hurry and not stop to look back. Lot’s wife famously disobeyed and the Bible tells us she was instantly turned into a pillar of salt — perhaps caught in the burning sulfur and volcanic explosions that engulfed the area.

Though some Hebrew texts refer to her as Edith and others call her Irit, Lot’s wife is never actually named in the Bible itself. Instead, she stands as a symbol of the danger of indecision, especially when God’s instructions are clear. Even in the New Testament, Jesus cautions His disciples to “remember Lot’s wife” and not look back when God calls you forward.

The more I think about it, the more I think Lot’s wife’s name could have been Diane. Continue reading I Think I Know Lot’s Wife’s Name

Choosing to gulp, not sip

I stood transfixed on the lanai, watching a river otter cavort on the opposite bank of the small pond behind my rented condo. It rolled on its back in the grass, stood up, then threw itself down and rolled some more before finally slinking back into the water and swimming away.

Now I don’t know if otters feel joy; I kind of doubt it. For all I know, its back was itching and that’s how otters scratch. But that creature was so playful and unguarded, so totally in the moment, I couldn’t help but smile.

32 Curious DolphinI’ve felt the same pleasure watching dolphins frolic alongside a boat or kayak. They leap out of the water with those ubiquitous grins and seem for all the world to be truly enjoying themselves. Are they? I don’t know, but something about them makes my spirit soar.  Continue reading Choosing to gulp, not sip