The Folly of a Change of Fonts

July 17Go ahead. Try any font. From my point of view, it doesn’t matter. The shape of the letters that form the word July, the angles of the number 17 – these are harsh and unnecessary. Even cruel.

Every year I dread this date and the sadness it rekindles. It’s been 16 years. How many more?

My mother died on this date in 1997. My mother died. It was a Thursday.

Even now, all these years later, it sounds surreal and far too sad to be true.

Copy of Vintage photos - 1953 - Baby Diane (crop)I know that her earthly life mattered and that my memory of her will never die. Dear God, she was my one and only mother. She loved and was loved deeply even when her pain was intense and she could barely see the light of that love. It was – and is – absolute.

Yes, I look with confidence to a future reunion with her. By God’s grace, my entire family will be there, together for eternity. When we meet again, we will all be forever changed and remade in the presence and the image of the Savior we adore.

But for now, I keep trying different fonts, wishing I could change the look of this day, this now.

It doesn’t work.     

About Diane Rivers

Diane is a native Floridian whose career as an FBI Agent got her transferred to the North. She's retired from that gig now and "repurposed" as a freelance writer, author, and sometimes poet who blogs about the bumpy, bone-jostling ride of her “workaround” life. She loves Jesus, her family, black coffee, kayaking, biking, and hiking, and she looks forward to eternity with the One who will make all things beautiful. (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

13 thoughts on “The Folly of a Change of Fonts”

  1. Diane I couldn’t agree more. I find it hard to believe how much I still miss her. I do get a lot of comfort knowing how much she loved The Lord and that we will see her again

    1. I know you understand, Darlene, as few others can. It’s a sad “club” to belong to and one I never wanted to be in, but at least we’re not alone.

    1. My mom was never fond of platitudes. She admired honesty and was a little fearful of it at the same time. I get that. Thanks, Allen, for understanding.

  2. As my parents age I realize how any time spent with them is truly precious!. Your Blog post today brings that home to me again. I’m sending you hugs my friend !

  3. Some kinds of pain are harder to fade than others.
    Knowing you will see her again one day in heaven can’t make today’s pain go away.
    Thinking of you…

  4. Diane, just sending you light and love. There really are no words. I have realised as the days pass and months turn into years (it will be 3 on August 7th)…losing my mother is not something I’ll ever get it. I simply learn how to cope. You are in my heart and prayers.

    1. Aah, only three years. Your pain is still so fresh; I’m sorry. We cope and we hope – that’s what we do. Thanks for your kind thoughts and prayers, Vernette. You’re a kindred spirit and I appreciate it.

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